That's that.

Now I have lost my dogs, my parents, and 50% of my special brothers, and I walked away from my beautiful gardens. I have chosen to live with the living so that is what I will do. I will remember that I can't hold on to anything when it's time to go, so I will hold on to what I can for as long as I can and try to enjoy every minute of it. I'm not going to go stand around and watch people cry and hug people I don't like and listen to stupid stories. If I were to do that, I would just cry and be mad at myself for crying and hugging. That part is over. I have all those photos and little doodads to make me cry but maybe I can use them to make me happy. I am the luckiest person in the world so I will go ahead and be happy about it. You can't hold me back with the tendency to depression and, if I lose my marbles, I will be a happy crazy person. So there.

robby 4/18/10

i don't think he's going to get through it this time and who could wish that he would. the sky is blue and spring is well along here and couldn't be more beautiful. how could he be sick for 14 years. first i had to appreciate my mobility and now i will have to appreciate everything for the guy who appreciated it all. there's no point in being sad because it is what it is.