June 16

I requested to be friends with Julie but I just removed the connection after a couple of days. John had told me that Robby felt that Julie had grown up a lot but I sure can't see it. Of course, I'm glad that Robby felt that way. Susan and Sarah think that I should make an effort because Robby would want that but I think I'm right. And you know what else, Robby would be sad but he would understand. Our only connection was Robby and they have no interest whatsoever in me unless I magically become someone more like them. I think that I that I don't need them to be different, just to at least respond a little but perhaps I give myself too much credit. I'll never know. I think that they can't see I am a lot like Robby, so too bad for them if they miss out on that. At first I thought 'well, I am not he.' when, a few years ago, Beth said they are used to how sweet he is so it's hard to figure me out. Nice thing to say. Of course, I was in the situation of having to be conciliatory, and I was also taken by surprise. I could have explained that he and I are much alike. We have the same underpinning of family and experience and knowledge, the same kind of sense of humor, the same thoughtfulness for others although my circle of others is much more limited. Robby and I have much more in common than he has with his wife or daughter, though he would never tell them that, of course. So, too bad for you people. We can continue to be distantly polite if we have happen to run into each other but I am not going to chase a relationship with people who cannot be bothered to reply. I just looked at Julie's facebook page back to 4/26 and I see that she posted some nice photos of Robby, which made me realize, not only did they not say anything about my sending photos to each of them of Robby, Mum, and Dad, but no one sent me any of their photos. Screw it. Your husband and father died and what could be worse (despite the party atmosphere), but you fail to notice that my brother died. Julie posted a photo of Robby from the 25th which I wanted to see because I sure didn't take any photos of him. He is frowning slightly with eyes closed and she is smiling with her broad smile and looking in a different direction. Maybe it's meant to be a photo of Julie. It epitomizes how freaky those last days seemed to me. What does anybody think when looking at that photo?