5/9/10

I don't think about Batman anymore. I don't post on Craig's List for China. I don't really miss my mother, due to her having declined over many years, I think. I do miss my father although I don't think about him often. I do miss him even though I am hurt every time I think of him not mentioning me in those newspaper interviews. So, there you go. I think I have a big pool of sadness inside me but I don't go look at it very often. I suppose that's the survival thing, that it can't keep hurting forever. Robby died on 26 April. I saw him on the 23rd, 24th, and 25th. It was very strange. It was strange to know that he was dying and it was super strange to have it all happening in a sort of weird party atmosphere. Now I have been given to understand that I either actually offended someone or maybe just that someone thought I acted inappropriately. I guess I was supposed to join in the hugging and chatting and eating but it was just too weird for me to act as if he were dead when he wasn't. I don't go to those things when there is a dead body and I had definitely decided that I would never attend his funeral or memorial or what have you. I figured it would give people something to talk about, and, hey, I guess it has. I really, really don't care, and I also think that these people don't care either. I guess I will just ignore it unless and until someone speaks to me directly on the subject, which probably won't happen. I'm OK with being mean old aunt Sally, can you believe she was Robby's twin, they were NOTHING alike. It's all OK because Robby liked me.