9/10/08

The search dog found no scent and that was so disappointing even though I had little or no hope. Did that nice young woman really see a dog who looked a lot like China?

I feel so bad about having brought her out here. Everyone says this was bound to happen but it wouldn't have happened in Ithaca and it wouldn't have happened had I not left town over the Fourth. Even if I take comfort in a belief that she's all right, that doesn't help me miss her less.

I can think about Batman now without much trouble but I sure can't think about China.

I thought I was deficient in not feeling the empty nest syndrome when the girls were gone but now I think I didn't feel it because I had those two dogs. That nearly 10 years was my only undistracted time and it was filled with those dogs. That will never happen again and it is probably just as well. But I think that the result is that I miss them so much .

Now that there are little kids again, and this time with no other demands on my time, dogs would have to take a back seat, as Puppy and LD did, so there will be no dogs. This is a good time, a very good time that I am lucky to have, but I am still sad for the time that's gone.

There were a lot of things that I was unhappy about in that time but I was never unhappy with those dogs and all the time that we spent together.