therapist - second appointment

today the therapist wanted me talk about robby. she says his illness is a loss for me. i said it seems wrong to say it's a loss for me as it his loss. i certainly concede that it makes me sad that i can't do anything to help him. i told her that i don't understand the thing about working through grief since i cry and then nothing is different. my work to do before next week is to think about what i might like to say to robby. she asked me about our relationship as children but i had to tell her i was just a pain in the rear end and didn't take any trouble to know him then. she said i regret that, and it's true. she said that was my child's brain and my grownup brain is regretful. i said my grownup regret is that i was not the good parent i should have been. she said that just as i regret that perhaps in time i will look at these years and be sorry that i did not say or do something for robby. i said that is different as the girls were my dependents but robby is an adult with his own life. i said i will think about it and try to be able to do something positive but i can't say something to him in order to make my life easier that will make him feel bad or obligated.