RE: RobbyInbox X
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show details 8/6/07 |
Hi Sally--I went to visit Robby this evening. I checked with the nurses' station and they said he was awake and that it was a good time to visit. He was cranked up in bed, and was sitting there wrapped in a blanket because the A/C was a little over-enthusiastic. He had an oxygen thingy in his nose and looked rawther miserable. He is still getting a good dose of morphine and so he was by his own characterization kinda drifty--once in a while he would forget what he was talking about, or he could not summon the right word. Hell, I do that all the time, so he seemed pretty good to me. He volunteered that he has not been doing the stuff they want him to do because it is too painful. It sounds like he cannot walk, and when I was leaving he wanted to go to the bathroom and I had to get the nurse to bring a wheelchair. He sort of mumbles and it was hard for me to hear what he said part of the time. But I heard a lot about the insurance company! And they deserved it all, damn their cheapskate, chiseling ways!
I don't think he has been eating a lot, but while I was there he ate a little dixie cup size vanilla ice cream and drank a chocolate milk shake that was maybe 8 oz., and ate a couple of Saltines. Johnny had brought him some little York peppermint patties, but he said he could not eat those. He was complaining (gently) because he said he had some other Saltines, and someone else must have eaten them (!), so I got the nurse to bring him some more, turn down the AC, and get him some chapstick, because I guess someone had eaten that too. He has the hiccups from the steroids they are giving him, according to Beth, and he was hiccuping steadily most of the time I was there. That must be very wearing, on top of all the other problems. Damn, damn, damn.
Of course, he said he wants to get out of there, but he realizes that won't happen right away, and he grumbled mildly about going to rehab. He is annoyed about wasting his summer in there. Beth said that he still wants to have the boat in the Retired Skippers' Race, which I believe is on the 18th. She said that Robby is worried that next year, your father might not be able to do it, and he might not either. So she said she has friends who can help take the boat up, and she was figuring out how she could get Rob onto the boat. Gee-zus! That is only 12 days away! I thought, She is just plain demented, but then your father was talking about it too, so I guess there must be some feeling of let him do what he wants while he can. dunno.
I asked Beth about Julie, after we had that conversation while you were here about Julie's husband getting out of the Navy and then they would move up here and did we have any apartments. . . . Apparently, husband is still in the Navy, but Julie is talking about coming up here to help take care of her father. Beth said that Robby told her not to leave her husband to come up here, but Beth thinks that "probably she will be up here before Christmas." Dunno if I am supposed to be worrying about an apartment for her/them or not.
Johnny left to go back down to the Gulf today. Robby said that Ricky has been over to visit several times; apparently, he and Shyla are spending a few days a week at MFA working on the house. Robby just shook his head and moaned about that. . . . Not clear to anyone when they might move there, or what they will do in the meantime. Maybe Julie et al. could live there.
I don't think I know your current phone number. Do you still have a land line? Or just your cell phone? I could probably have said this in a whole lot less time than it took to type it! Or perhaps you know all this stuff already. Oh well, no doubt it will improve my typing skills. I am not sure I can make it over to see Rob again tomorrow (three meetings in the afternoon and evening), but anyway Beth said he tires easily and has "too many friends". But, I will plan to go over again on Wednesday. I asked if there was anything that I could bring, but he said he no, he can't eat much. I took him a hibiscus tonight because it sounded as if he could not really eat things like blueberries or blueberry cake yet. I have a good crop of blackberries coming along out near the garage--maybe he will be ready for those by the time they ripen. I hope that some things will go his way, dammit.
I am sorry that Batman is having problems. Life is throwing a few too many curves at once. Love, Jane
I don't think he has been eating a lot, but while I was there he ate a little dixie cup size vanilla ice cream and drank a chocolate milk shake that was maybe 8 oz., and ate a couple of Saltines. Johnny had brought him some little York peppermint patties, but he said he could not eat those. He was complaining (gently) because he said he had some other Saltines, and someone else must have eaten them (!), so I got the nurse to bring him some more, turn down the AC, and get him some chapstick, because I guess someone had eaten that too. He has the hiccups from the steroids they are giving him, according to Beth, and he was hiccuping steadily most of the time I was there. That must be very wearing, on top of all the other problems. Damn, damn, damn.
Of course, he said he wants to get out of there, but he realizes that won't happen right away, and he grumbled mildly about going to rehab. He is annoyed about wasting his summer in there. Beth said that he still wants to have the boat in the Retired Skippers' Race, which I believe is on the 18th. She said that Robby is worried that next year, your father might not be able to do it, and he might not either. So she said she has friends who can help take the boat up, and she was figuring out how she could get Rob onto the boat. Gee-zus! That is only 12 days away! I thought, She is just plain demented, but then your father was talking about it too, so I guess there must be some feeling of let him do what he wants while he can. dunno.
I asked Beth about Julie, after we had that conversation while you were here about Julie's husband getting out of the Navy and then they would move up here and did we have any apartments. . . . Apparently, husband is still in the Navy, but Julie is talking about coming up here to help take care of her father. Beth said that Robby told her not to leave her husband to come up here, but Beth thinks that "probably she will be up here before Christmas." Dunno if I am supposed to be worrying about an apartment for her/them or not.
Johnny left to go back down to the Gulf today. Robby said that Ricky has been over to visit several times; apparently, he and Shyla are spending a few days a week at MFA working on the house. Robby just shook his head and moaned about that. . . . Not clear to anyone when they might move there, or what they will do in the meantime. Maybe Julie et al. could live there.
I don't think I know your current phone number. Do you still have a land line? Or just your cell phone? I could probably have said this in a whole lot less time than it took to type it! Or perhaps you know all this stuff already. Oh well, no doubt it will improve my typing skills. I am not sure I can make it over to see Rob again tomorrow (three meetings in the afternoon and evening), but anyway Beth said he tires easily and has "too many friends". But, I will plan to go over again on Wednesday. I asked if there was anything that I could bring, but he said he no, he can't eat much. I took him a hibiscus tonight because it sounded as if he could not really eat things like blueberries or blueberry cake yet. I have a good crop of blackberries coming along out near the garage--maybe he will be ready for those by the time they ripen. I hope that some things will go his way, dammit.
I am sorry that Batman is having problems. Life is throwing a few too many curves at once. Love, Jane
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| Margaret Spear | 8/6/07 |
show details 8/6/07 |
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show details 8/6/07 |
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Well, of course I did not see the Great Beth Screed, but I would just act like a grown-up ignoring a kid's temper tantrum. She is not actually a member of your family and I think she ought to suck it up and show some courtesy. And you could be gracious and ignore the fact that she was so ratty. DO NOT let her come between you and Robby! Of course he would be very glad to see you. He seemed glad to see me, and although I suggested a few times that I should go, he said no. Anyway, I am not exactly a rowdy crowd, so having someone to sit with him as he ate and to get him some little services seemed like one small thing I could do that might be good for him. We looked at the pictures that I guess you must have e-mailed to Johnny and he printed out. We tried to figure out which boat he was rowing--he said it was "Mary" and was pointed on both ends. I don't remember such a craft. Given that it seemed to be all spattered with mud, I figured it was likely mine, but probably I did not have it when he was that size.
Oh, I did not realize that about Batty. I am very sorry. It is so hard to get used to not having someone so close always around. I know I do not need to tell you that. I know I can't say much that is helpful. I am very sad. Last night, Mr. Kitty did not come home and I called and called and worried and worried about him and imagined what life would be like without him, so I was sort of in that frame of mind. Of course, this morning he was grinning on the back step and elbowing his way past to get to the chow. I am sorry. Love, Jane
Well, of course I did not see the Great Beth Screed, but I would just act like a grown-up ignoring a kid's temper tantrum. She is not actually a member of your family and I think she ought to suck it up and show some courtesy. And you could be gracious and ignore the fact that she was so ratty. DO NOT let her come between you and Robby! Of course he would be very glad to see you. He seemed glad to see me, and although I suggested a few times that I should go, he said no. Anyway, I am not exactly a rowdy crowd, so having someone to sit with him as he ate and to get him some little services seemed like one small thing I could do that might be good for him. We looked at the pictures that I guess you must have e-mailed to Johnny and he printed out. We tried to figure out which boat he was rowing--he said it was "Mary" and was pointed on both ends. I don't remember such a craft. Given that it seemed to be all spattered with mud, I figured it was likely mine, but probably I did not have it when he was that size.
Oh, I did not realize that about Batty. I am very sorry. It is so hard to get used to not having someone so close always around. I know I do not need to tell you that. I know I can't say much that is helpful. I am very sad. Last night, Mr. Kitty did not come home and I called and called and worried and worried about him and imagined what life would be like without him, so I was sort of in that frame of mind. Of course, this morning he was grinning on the back step and elbowing his way past to get to the chow. I am sorry. Love, Jane
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show details 8/7/07 |
if i were a nice person, there wouldn't be this problem so i cannot really blame her. i should have been friendly to her from the outset. actually i was at the very beginning, when she was already whining about not instantly having my mother bond to her. anyway, it didn't take me long to realize that i didn't like her. still, i should have tried harder. and, still again, i do feel that after he got sick, it would have been impossible for me. i feel as if we should be able to ignore each other but apparently she requires me to do differently. well, hell, i require her to be someone else also. but it's not as if we live next door and it's not as if robby is much distracted by me. but, due to my character as well as hers, she is between us. and she very much feels that i don't like her. and due to her character, she won't quit complaining about it to robby, no matter how sick and tired he is. believe me, it is better if i don't arrive at every crisis because, rightly or wrongly, she perceives me as someone who zooms by once in a while and just bosses the hell out of everybody without knowing what i'm talking about. as it regards my parents, tough. but, as it regards robby, and because he just plain likes me a lot, and because she will complain about it, i bow out. i cannot ignore her tantrum because it will be directed at robby. it was interesting when he called me last summer and asked me to talk with her and abase myself as much as necessary to get her to stop stomping around and threatening to leave altogether and go live with cindy - it was interesting because he said it is easy to talk with me and disagree with me, and it is impossible to talk with her. one of the many things he has told me that he shouldn't have.
an example of what he should never do or never have done is also when he was at maine medical after the splenectomy but before the spine injury, when he was supposed to get out of bed the next day and walk a little, he told the nurses, 'i'm waiting for my sister.' i think it is telling that he wasn't waiting for beth. it is the nurses who told me that so it's possible someone told beth also. for me, it was so sweet but also so damning of her because she was nowhere around when he needed someone. i'm sure it wasn't a criticism of her, but even if she didn't know that, she feels it that he likes me and she has always been ridiculously jealous.
what i will do after this danged house stuff is every over, so probably late october whether we sell it or not, that is when i will visit and then i won't be so much perceived as swooping in to criticize. and, if he's alive, maybe i'll get a chance to chat then. even though there's never much chance because i hate to stop him in his slow slow progress doing stuff.
it doesn't matter. it's not as if we were hanging out or communicating much before she arrived on the scene anyway. i'm someone he likes who was part of his childhood. i very much regret not making the effort to know him when we were kids, but that ship is long gone.
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